Monday, August 8, 2011

The Final Inspection


The Soldier stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.


"Step forward now, Soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?"


The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough
.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep
.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears
.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.


If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.

As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgement of his God.
"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell"
~Author Unknown~

Do you know how to catch wild pigs?

You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgot ten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.

That is exactly what he sees happening in America. The government keeps pushing us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax cuts, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time.

One should always remember two truths: There is no such thing as a free lunch and you can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

If you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America, you might want to send this on to your friends.  If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then you will probably delete this email. But God help you when the gate slams shut!

HOW TO START A FIGHT


         
One  year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

          The next  year, I didn't buy her a gift.

          When she asked  me why, I replied,

          "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

          And that's how the fight started.....

          ____________________________ ____


          My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

          I turned to  her and said, 'Do you want to have  Sex?'

          'No,' she answered. I then said,

          'Is that your final answer?'

          She didn't even look  at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

          So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

          And that's when the fight started...

         ________________________________


          I took my wife to a restaurant.

          The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

          "I'll have  the rump steak, rare, please."

          He said,  "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

          "Nah, she can order for herself."

          And that's when the fight  started.....

         _______________________________


          My  wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a  drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

          I asked her, "Do you know  him?"

          "Yes", she sighed,

          "He's my old  boyfriend.  I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago,  and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."< br>
          "My  God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

          And then the fight  started...

         ________________________________


          When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I
should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something
more important to me.
Finally she thought of  a clever way to make her point.

          When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the  tall grass, busily snipping
away with a tiny  pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time
and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I
came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish
cutting the grass, you  might as well sweep the driveway."

          The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always  have a  limp.

         ______________________________


          My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

          She asked, "What's on TV?"

          I said, "Dust."

          And then the fight started...

         ________________________________


          Saturday  morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked up the
boat up to the  van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would  be bad all day.

          I went back into the house,  quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, "The  weather out there is
terrible."

          My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

          And that's how the fight started...

         _______________________________


          My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

          She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds."

        I bought her a bathroom scale.

          And then the fight started......

         ______________________________


          After retiring, I went to the Social Security office  to apply
for Social Security.

          The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.

          I looked in my  pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

          The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

          So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

          She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Se curity application.

          When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office.  She said, 'You should have  dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

          And then the fight started...

         ________________________________


          My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom  mirror.

          She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

          "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

          I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

          And then the fight started........

         ___________________ _____________

Saturday, July 9, 2011

What if Dr Suess wrote the Book of Mormon???

I imagine it would go something like this:
Nephi: Of goodly parents I was born
I've never drunk, I've never sworn
This is Lehi, he's my dad
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad
And who is this? Why this is Sam
Yes, this is Sam;

Sam: Sam I am

Laman: That Sam I am, that Sam I am
I do not like that Sam I am

Sam: In a tent, my father dwelt

Laman: And it's so hot, I think I'll melt

Lemuel: Our father's brain is out of whack

Laman: Yeah, it's too hot, I'm going back

Lehi: Then go and get the plates my dear

Laman: On second thought, I'm staying here

Nephi: You said you'd leave and go away
Now all you want to do is stay?

Lemuel: That Nephi always gets his way

Laman: Here we are in this damp cave

Sam: We would not be here if you'd behave

Nephi: I will go and I will do
There's the angel, that's my cue
Laban's had too much to drink
Now he'll lose his head, I think

Nephi: Look what I found, a brother from the quorum

Sam: We will take him home, we will call him Zoram

Lemuel: Oh great, another pathetic life form

Laman: Our gold and silver we have spent
I do not like it in this tent

Lemuel: I cannot read the Liahona
I must have drunk too much Corona

Laman: We hate it here, we have no lives

Lehi: Then go back to the city and get some wives

Lehi: A tree, a tree, I see a tree
The fruit is white, the fruit is free
A floating building, could it be?
Why do they laugh and stare at me?

Laman, Lemuel, come and see

Laman: We will not eat your precious fruit

Lemuel: We will not wear a tie and suit

Laman: We will not help you build your boat

Lemuel: We do not think that it will float

Laman: No not this boat, it will not float
Not even in a shallow moat
I do not care what Nephi wrote

Lemuel: We will not eat your fruit I say

Laman: We will not eat it on a tray

Lemuel: And we won't eat it in a tent
Not even if your clothes you rent

Laman: We'd rather have a can of spam
L & L: We will not eat it, Sam I am

Sam: You do not like it, so you say
Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may I say

Laman: Sam, if you will let us be,
We will try it, you will see

L&L: Say, we like this fruit of life
Sorry that we caused such strife
You've saved us from an awful jam
Thank you, thank you, Sam I am

Monday, May 30, 2011

Remembering Things

An older couple was perfectly healthy, but they had problems remembering things.  Their doctor recommended that they make written notes to help them remember. So one night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She: "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He: "Sure."

She: "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He: "No, I can remember."

She: "Please put some strawberries on it. You better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget."

He: "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She: "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down."

He: "No, I don't need to write it down! I can remember!"

Fuming, he went into the kitchen.  After about 20 minutes he returned and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

Stupid question, excellent answer...Ha Ha Ha Ha

 
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian.

who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters,
was interviewed on the radio recently; his responses to the women inquisitor
concerning guns and children is one of the best comeback lines of all time. 

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:! 
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. 
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over.

Wasp Spray


I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...---
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. Did you know this? I didn't. I never really thought of it before. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.

Wasp Spray 
 -  A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.
The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School .. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed..

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades.

It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.

Please share this with all the people who are precious to your life

Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good to know, huh? It will also kill a wasp.!!!!

Bear Tragedy

This is a very sad story about a bear.. Everybody should heed the warnings not to feed wildlife because they become dependent and don't forage for themselves any longer. It is such a tragedy to see what has been done to our country's wildlife! The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife. 

 
 
cid:1.3051201115@web43144.mail.sp1.yahoo.com  
 
Animals that formerly were self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party…. They have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a black bear in Montana turned Democrat, he's nicknamed Bearack Acorn Obearma. It is believed that he has become a campground organizer.
 

The day Christ was crucified

In the previous 36 hours he has had very little sleep. He has participated in the passover feast, met with his Apostles for the last supper, been to Gethsemane, betrayed, condemned, scourged.  At about 10:00 am he is nailed to the cross.  His time alive on the cross is relatively short as compared to most who have this experience. A lot of men die at the scourging, not to mention the suffering in the Garden-(only a Man who is half God could endure this)  He utters 7 statements in those last hours. In one of these statement he utters the words " My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me" It was at this time his Father's Spirit had left him. He at that utterly desolate and dark moment descended below all things, he literally knew what it was like to be a sinner and have the Spirit leave him, he literally fulfilled prophecy that he would "tread the winepress alone." At about the the ninth hour or Three o'clock it is finished. The Earth shakes. The veil of the temple is rent, exposing the holy inner room. The sun has been hid for the previous 3 hours. On the American Continent, the land is literally torn asunder. The soldiers come to remove the Bodies  before the sun goes down to satisfy the wishes of the religious leaders..The two thieves are still alive. They break their legs with a large hammer sending their bodied into shock to speed up the process. When they come to Christ he is already dead. To be  sure, a soldier takes a spear and thrusts it into Christs heart through the rib cage and makes a gash big enough to put a mans hand thereunto. Water gushes out, the sign of broken heart- fulfillment of prophesy, Even though he is dead, his ministry is riveted in the hearts of the believers..... I am one of those Believers.

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

JUST  TOO CUTE.cid:3536A52A-7BE2-469E-99C8-13E6ACCE9CB1cid:F3C4AED5-5C48-4EC6-B5E2-48D7053AF43F 



cid:08344DB3-B93C-4C93-BD5D-14B86EF76356

A  woman walked into the kitchen to find her 
Husband standing around with a fly swatter  

"What  are you doing?" 
She asked. 

"Hunting Flies" 
He responded.  

"Oh ! Killing any?" 
She asked. 

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.  


cid:1D89DE38-0841-4631-A77A-FC0F68EA2726

Intrigued,  she inquired.  
"How can you tell them apart?"  


"3 were on a beer can, 
2 were on the phone. 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Challenge

So here's my thought of the day.  My brother-in-law Donovan leaves for his mission to Tacoma Washington Wed June 2nd.  Well I starting think' about all the things that he has to give up in order to go serve the Lord. 

Examples: 
  Cell phone, Internet, & pretty much any other connections to family & friends.  I know that he's aloud to e-mail, but common, how many times have we just surfed the Internet out of pure boredom.
  Dating, girlfriends, dancing, pretty much friends in general.
 

So my point that I'm trying to get at is 2 years of purely serving the Lord.  There are many a Sunday's that I have a hard time being at church for 3 hrs & paying attention the entire time.  Or even thinking about the Atonement for 15 during the passing of the sacrament.  I know I am not the only one.  Unless I'm reading hymns, or scripture my mind wonders.  My worldly issues come into mind. 

I've also noticed that my family has hit a comfort zone.  What I mean is, we go to church, bless our meals, have family prayer before bed time.  We go through kicks of having family scripture every night to not at all.  Personal scripture study has gone down for all of us.  Morning prayer are almost non existent, not just mine but my girls as well.  Of course I can't speak for my husband, but as a mother I notice when my girls are or are not doing things. 

So as I was doing dishes tonight I had a thought, a pretty good one if I do say so myself.  Why don't we make a 2 year challenge for ourselves?  Personal challenges that we help each other with.  So I went out to the garage & talked to Miah about is.  He seemed to be on board so we had a family home evening & talked about our plan.

Each person needs to come up with 1 personal challenge & 1 spiritual challenge.  For example my personal challenge is going to be my diet.  Food has some serious control over me, I think a daily food & exercise journal will help.  My spiritual challenge is going to be making sure we have family home evening's weekly, family scripture daily, personal morning prayer, daily journal writing, & scripture study.

As I was talking about family home evening Miah added that each week someone different is going to be giving the lesson.  Because we had already talked about individual lessons the kids were on board with that.

When Tameka graduated from Primary this month & she had her Bishop's interview he gave her an assignment on the Atonement since she didn't know what it was.  So as a family instead of doing nightly scriptures for a few nights we studied the Atonement.  Then she went in to get her temple recommend a few days later & she didn't know what chastity was so we gave that assignment to her.  She's giving us that lesson this Sunday.  Tavia gave us a lesson on tithing last week.  Then the Sunday after chastity Tavia is giving a talk on fast offerings because she thinks it's the same thing as tithing.

So tonight we just had the girls sit with a notepad & jot down some ideas of what kinds of things they can do to challenge themselves.

One thing that I've been worried about is how to hold myself accountable for my actions, or in other words my eating habits.  I know a food journal will help but I think a public blog will be too.  So occasionally I'm going to chart my progress & the progress of my family.  You know as well as I do if the family fails at this it's mom's fault.  My family's success is my responsibility.

First thing I need to do to help with own personal success is a game plan, you wouldn't walk into a cave blind so I'm not going into a challenge blind either.

Planning ideas:
  Family home evening lesson topics.
  Food journal.
  Blog success' & failures.
  Meal planning, healthy shopping list.
  We use to put our scriptures in a basket on the kitchen table to help us remember I want to start that again.
  Reminder for morning prayer ????  Not so sure how to help myself there yet.  Any suggestions??
  Once I get into journal writing & scriptures I'm pretty good at it but once something breaks my cycle I'm done.

Once we defeat one challenge were going to move on to another then another, then another.  I think you get it : )
 
 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Computer vs Car

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have
enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill 's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wow, what an inspiration!

Subject: Fwd: WOW! WHAT AN EMAIL






























































































 





 


 





 
 

Something to think about....

Something To Think About . . .        THE SITUATION

In  Washington  ,  DC  , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.  During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.  After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing.  He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.
 

About 4 minutes later:
 
 
The violinist received his first dollar.  A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

 
At 6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
 

At 10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly.  The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time.  This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.


At 45 minutes:


The 
musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while.  About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:


He finished playing and silence took over.  No one noticed and no one applauded.  There was no recognition
 at all. 
 
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world.  He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.  Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in  Boston  where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story.  Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment aboutperception, taste and people's priorities

This experiment raised several questions:
 
     
*In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

     
*If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

     
*Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:


If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . .
 
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Monday, May 23, 2011

Wet Pants

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a gold-fish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap..

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning  up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful.  But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good..
Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

The Prayer:  Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your  
love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment.  
Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy.. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs.  Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings.  Amen.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Speeding Ticket‏

Jack took a long look at his speedometer 
Before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone.
Fourth time in as many months..
How could a guy get caught so often?



When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour,
Jack pulled over, but only partially.
Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard..
Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror.
The cop was stepping out of his car,
The big pad in hand..

 
Bob? Bob from Church?
Jack sunk farther into his trench coat.
This was worse than the coming ticket.
A cop catching a guy from his own church.
A guy who happened to be a little eager
To get home after a long day at the office..
A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow..

 
Jumping out of the car,
He approached a man he saw every Sunday,
A man he'd never seen in uniform.


'Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this.'


'Hello, Jack.' No smile.



'Guess you caught me red-handed
In a rush to see my wife and kids.'



'Yeah, I guess.' Bob seemed uncertain.
Good.


'I've seen some long days at the office lately.
I'm afraid I bent the rules a bit -just this once.'


Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement.
'Diane said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight.
Know what I mean?'


'I know what you mean.
I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct .'
Ouch.
This was not going in the right direction.
Time to change tactics.



'What'd you clock me at?'



'Seventy. Would you sit back in your car please?'



'Now wait a minute here, Bob.
I checked as soon as I saw you.
I was barely nudging 65.'
The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket.



'Please, Jack, in the car'



Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard..
He was in no rush to open the window.



The minutes ticked by.
Bob scribbled away on the pad..



Why hadn't he asked for a driver's license?



Whatever the reason,
It would be a month of Sundays
Before Jack ever sat near this cop again.
 

A tap on the door jerked his head to the left.
There was Bob, a folded paper in hand
Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches,
Just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.



'Thanks..'
Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice.



Bob returned to his police car without a word.
Jack watched his retreat in the mirror.
Jack unfolded the sheet of paper.
How much was this one going to cost?


Wait a minute.
What was this? Some kind of joke?



Certainly not a ticket. Jack began to read:


'Dear Jack, Once upon a time I had a daughter..
She was six when killed by a car.
You guessed it - a speeding driver.
A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free.
Free to hug his daughters, all three of them.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven
Before I can ever hug her again.



A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man.
A thousand times I thought I had.
Maybe I did, but I need to do it again.
Even now.
Pray for me.
And be careful, Jack,
my son is all I have left.'
 Bob


Jack turned around in time to see Bob's car
pull away and head down the road.
Jack watched until it disappeared.
A full 15 minutes later, he too,
pulled away and drove slowly home,
praying for forgiveness and
hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived...
 

Cherokee Legend

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him an leaves him alone..
 He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.  He cannot cry out for help to anyone.


Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him .. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat
stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could  become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his
blindfold.
It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him.
  He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
  We, too, are never alone.    Even when we don't know it, God is watching over  us, Sitting on the stump beside us.   When trouble comes, all we have to do  is reach out to Him.
If you liked this story, pass it on.   If not, you took off your blindfold  before dawn.

Moral of the story:

Just because you can't see God,
Doesn't mean He is not there.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight."
 

It's what you scatter‏

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes... I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.  Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'
'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'
'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?'
'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'
'Would you like to take some home?'  Asked Mr. Miller.
'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'
'All I got's my prize marble here.'
'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'
'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked..
'Not zackley but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.
'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.  When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'
 
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and  moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.  They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size......they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ..' With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral:
We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.... Green stoplights on your way to work....

The fastest line at the grocery store....

A good sing-along song on the radio...

Your keys found right where you left them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did...

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur
.
 

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!
 
(This was not my story but definatly a story worth sharing)