Remembering Things

An older couple was perfectly healthy, but they had problems remembering things.  Their doctor recommended that they make written notes to help them remember. So one night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She: "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He: "Sure."

She: "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He: "No, I can remember."

She: "Please put some strawberries on it. You better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget."

He: "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She: "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down."

He: "No, I don't need to write it down! I can remember!"

Fuming, he went into the kitchen.  After about 20 minutes he returned and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

Stupid question, excellent answer...Ha Ha Ha Ha

 

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian. who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters, was interviewed on the radio recently; his responses to the women inquisitor concerning guns and children is one of the best comeback lines of all time.  FEMALE INTERVIEWER:So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL COSGROVE:!  We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.  FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL COSGROVE:Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over.

Wasp Spray

I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...---
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. Did you know this? I didn't. I never really thought of it before. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.

Wasp Spray  -  A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.
The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School .. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed..

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades.

It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.

Please share this with all the people who are precious to your life

Did you also know that wasp spray will kill a snake? And a mouse! It will! Good to know, huh? It will also kill a wasp.!!!!

Bear Tragedy

This is a very sad story about a bear.. Everybody should heed the warnings not to feed wildlife because they become dependent and don't forage for themselves any longer. It is such a tragedy to see what has been done to our country's wildlife! The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect U.S. wildlife. 

  
  
 Animals that formerly were self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party…. They have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a black bear in Montana turned Democrat, he's nicknamed Bearack Acorn Obearma. It is believed that he has become a campground organizer.

 

The day Christ was crucified

In the previous 36 hours he has had very little sleep. He has participated in the passover feast, met with his Apostles for the last supper, been to Gethsemane, betrayed, condemned, scourged.  At about 10:00 am he is nailed to the cross.  His time alive on the cross is relatively short as compared to most who have this experience. A lot of men die at the scourging, not to mention the suffering in the Garden-(only a Man who is half God could endure this)  He utters 7 statements in those last hours. In one of these statement he utters the words " My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me" It was at this time his Father's Spirit had left him. He at that utterly desolate and dark moment descended below all things, he literally knew what it was like to be a sinner and have the Spirit leave him, he literally fulfilled prophecy that he would "tread the winepress alone." At about the the ninth hour or Three o'clock it is finished. The Earth shakes. The veil of the temple is rent, exposing the holy inner room. The sun has been hid for the previous 3 hours. On the American Continent, the land is literally torn asunder. The soldiers come to remove the Bodies  before the sun goes down to satisfy the wishes of the religious leaders..The two thieves are still alive. They break their legs with a large hammer sending their bodied into shock to speed up the process. When they come to Christ he is already dead. To be  sure, a soldier takes a spear and thrusts it into Christs heart through the rib cage and makes a gash big enough to put a mans hand thereunto. Water gushes out, the sign of broken heart- fulfillment of prophesy, Even though he is dead, his ministry is riveted in the hearts of the believers..... I am one of those Believers.

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

JUST  TOO CUTE. 





A  woman walked into the kitchen to find her 
Husband standing around with a fly swatter  

"What  are you doing?" 
She asked. 

"Hunting Flies" 
He responded.  

"Oh ! Killing any?" 
She asked. 

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.  




Intrigued,  she inquired.  
"How can you tell them apart?"  


"3 were on a beer can, 
2 were on the phone. ”

Challenge

So here's my thought of the day.  My brother-in-law Donovan leaves for his mission to Tacoma Washington Wed June 2nd.  Well I starting think' about all the things that he has to give up in order to go serve the Lord. 

Examples: 
  Cell phone, Internet, & pretty much any other connections to family & friends.  I know that he's aloud to e-mail, but common, how many times have we just surfed the Internet out of pure boredom.
  Dating, girlfriends, dancing, pretty much friends in general.
 

So my point that I'm trying to get at is 2 years of purely serving the Lord.  There are many a Sunday's that I have a hard time being at church for 3 hrs & paying attention the entire time.  Or even thinking about the Atonement for 15 during the passing of the sacrament.  I know I am not the only one.  Unless I'm reading hymns, or scripture my mind wonders.  My worldly issues come into mind. 

I've also noticed that my family has hit a comfort zone.  What I mean is, we go to church, bless our meals, have family prayer before bed time.  We go through kicks of having family scripture every night to not at all.  Personal scripture study has gone down for all of us.  Morning prayer are almost non existent, not just mine but my girls as well.  Of course I can't speak for my husband, but as a mother I notice when my girls are or are not doing things. 

So as I was doing dishes tonight I had a thought, a pretty good one if I do say so myself.  Why don't we make a 2 year challenge for ourselves?  Personal challenges that we help each other with.  So I went out to the garage & talked to Miah about is.  He seemed to be on board so we had a family home evening & talked about our plan.

Each person needs to come up with 1 personal challenge & 1 spiritual challenge.  For example my personal challenge is going to be my diet.  Food has some serious control over me, I think a daily food & exercise journal will help.  My spiritual challenge is going to be making sure we have family home evening's weekly, family scripture daily, personal morning prayer, daily journal writing, & scripture study.

As I was talking about family home evening Miah added that each week someone different is going to be giving the lesson.  Because we had already talked about individual lessons the kids were on board with that.

When Tameka graduated from Primary this month & she had her Bishop's interview he gave her an assignment on the Atonement since she didn't know what it was.  So as a family instead of doing nightly scriptures for a few nights we studied the Atonement.  Then she went in to get her temple recommend a few days later & she didn't know what chastity was so we gave that assignment to her.  She's giving us that lesson this Sunday.  Tavia gave us a lesson on tithing last week.  Then the Sunday after chastity Tavia is giving a talk on fast offerings because she thinks it's the same thing as tithing.

So tonight we just had the girls sit with a notepad & jot down some ideas of what kinds of things they can do to challenge themselves.

One thing that I've been worried about is how to hold myself accountable for my actions, or in other words my eating habits.  I know a food journal will help but I think a public blog will be too.  So occasionally I'm going to chart my progress & the progress of my family.  You know as well as I do if the family fails at this it's mom's fault.  My family's success is my responsibility.

First thing I need to do to help with own personal success is a game plan, you wouldn't walk into a cave blind so I'm not going into a challenge blind either.

Planning ideas:
  Family home evening lesson topics.
  Food journal.
  Blog success' & failures.
  Meal planning, healthy shopping list.
  We use to put our scriptures in a basket on the kitchen table to help us remember I want to start that again.
  Reminder for morning prayer ????  Not so sure how to help myself there yet.  Any suggestions??
  Once I get into journal writing & scriptures I'm pretty good at it but once something breaks my cycle I'm done.

Once we defeat one challenge were going to move on to another then another, then another.  I think you get it : )
 
 

Computer vs Car

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have
enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill 's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!

Wow, what an inspiration!

Subject: Fwd: WOW! WHAT AN EMAIL

Something to think about....

Something To Think About . . .        THE SITUATION

In  Washington  ,  DC  , at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.  During that time, approximately 2,000 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.  After about 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing.  He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule. 

About 4 minutes later: 
 The violinist received his first dollar.  A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

 At 6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 

At 10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly.  The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time.  This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent - without exception - forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:

The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while.  About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.
After 1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over.  No one noticed and no one applauded.  There was no recognition at all. 
 No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world.  He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.  Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in  Boston  where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story.  Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment aboutperception, taste and people's priorities. 
This experiment raised several questions: 
     *In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?

     *If so, do we stop to appreciate it?

     *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . 
How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?

Wet Pants

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'
He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a gold-fish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap..

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning  up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful.  But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good..
Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

The Prayer:  Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your  
love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment.  
Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy.. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs.  Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings.  Amen.